Last year I did a thing…

Last year, I decided to take a chance on a relationship. Mind you, I had been single for almost 5 years. I mean there were people who claimed to be interested at that time but being interested is a far cry different from being serious. Therefore I spent those years totally involved with me, my growth in God (He performed so many miracles in that season), and furthering my education. So when someone pursued me last year, I thought “well maybe the time is right.” If you have never read any of my blogs before, do know that I am very serious about my role as a woman in the eyes of God. Since I am, I don’t believe in pursuing a man, shooting my shot, or anything like that. I’ve done those things in the past and I clearly understand why God left that MANdate to the MAN. With that being said, I must tell you that, that impending relationship did not last, but it taught me some great things about me, my state of mind, and my preparedness to share my life with another. So the goal here is to speak to that woman who has been single for a while and may find herself approached by the seemingly perfect guy for her and either decide to move forward with it or settle for it. I just want her to be prepared for that and be able to identify it clearly when it comes. I don’t want her to feel confused or rushed to make a decision, and I want her to marry the man God has for her, not the one who showed up at the perfect time. What I learned about me: I am still very cautious: It’s good to be cautious in this day in age, and I found out I am very much the cautious type. I catch on quickly to certain characteristics of a person and those characteristics can tell you a lot. Pay attention and be cautious. I “had” an issue with being disappointed: This one is funny to me because the fear of being disappointed will lead to you being disappointed (heavily) every time. Through therapy I found out that I have an issue with being disappointed and it was causing me to force myself and others into a level of perfection that's unreachable. I had to let that go and give others room to grow and myself. It’s okay if you don’t see someone being long term right away. It’s okay to end it even if it causes disappointment. Disappointment is a part of life…even mine. All of my true feeling may or may not come out if I’m mad enough: I am almost ashamed of this one, but there are times where opinions form as you get to know a person, and then we you see those opinions become fact….you may get upset, and at the moment who knows what you might say? Be careful about this because again finding out that people have characteristics that YOU can’t live with does not mean they deserve to be belittled or talked down to. God cares about how you treat all of His children. My state of mind: I have to be intellectually challenged: Nothing says love to me like an intellectual conversation! I have a friend that teases me about this, but it’s true: he must challenge my intellect. This does not mean just books though. When I say this I mean on various levels, and because I am a person in tune with the world, and I’ve been on my own since 18 my intellect and reasoning ability is a bit different. I need that matched. I am a planner…so stick to the plan: So here’s the thing: if we set a date to do something, and you don’t follow through, and this happens more than once: YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS, and that’s the bottom line. Changes in plans birth inconsistences and inconsistences are a consistent lack of interest. My preparedness to share my life with another: God changed me: There were things I used to pray about all the time because I wanted God to change the situation. Saturday while on a walk, I thought about those things and realized I no longer prayed for them because well, God changed me. So whoever He brings into my life as my husband will share that with me. So there was no need for a change in that area. I know what I don’t want: If you know what you don’t want then surely you know what you DO want. That’s me. I am pretty confident now in pin pointing what I desire, and I am confident that God knows the desire of my heart. My trust is in Him. I am open: If I can say I desire marriage, I have to be open to the idea of meeting men, and that I am. To be open does not mean you allow any everybody in, it means you allow those in who align themselves with God and the vision you have set for your life. There is nothing wrong with that. In closing, I pray that those of you who have decided to wait on God, or take a stab at dating will continue to keep your eyes and ears open and take every opportunity as a moment to if nothing else, learn something new about yourself. ~Love Ty